SURVIVOR SPOTLIGHT
Kelly Wells Holmes & Caroline McCloed:
Joy Is Generational
By Genevieve Branco
29 years ago, Carolyn McCleod was diagnosed and treated for breast cancer in her 50s. She had no way to know that her daughter, Kelly Wells Holmes, would develop an even more aggressive form of breast cancer a quarter century later, in 2020. Genetic testing for both women showed no genetic reason for either of their cancers. But what most certainly is genetic is the resilience, strength, and joy that Carolyn and Kelly share, as well as their drive to support others through Links for Life and other breast cancer charities. I’m pleased to present a snapshot of this mother-daughter superhero team, as we head into October – breast cancer awareness month – and begin our month-long celebration of survivors.
It was spring when Carolyn first noticed a lump in her left breast. She was 53 years old. Her doctor at the time was not in a big hurry to identify the source of the irregularity, but suggested that they wait and recheck in six months. So, she kept it quite from her daughter, Kelly, and the rest of the family for quite some time. In September, when Carolyn stood with her hands on her hips in the mirror, she saw a “dimple” in her breast. She knew that wasn’t normal and returned to the doctor for a mammogram. Her diagnosis was positive for breast cancer in her left breast, and that’s when she told her family.
Contrast that story with her daughter’s story – Kelly found a lump December 7, 2020 when she was 56. This was just 10 months after her previous mammogram which was perfectly clear. Kelly says she knew right away that this wasn’t a normal bump in her breast, this was different. She called her doctors office and was rushed through a series of tests with incredible urgency – mammogram, ultrasound, biopsy. She was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer in her right breast and it was determined that she would undergo chemotherapy prior to surgical intervention. She recalls that her porta-cath was placed before Christmas and the chemo was her new year’s gift.
Both women were treated for breast cancer. Carolyn had a lumpectomy followed by a month of radiation, while Kelly had infused chemotherapy, a double mastectomy, oral chemotherapy, then reconstructive surgery. Being that their cancer types were different, their treatment plans were different, too. In fact, Kelly said she was reassured when she got several opinions about how to treat triple negative breast cancer, and found them all to be the same. Carolyn was reassured to find out that the Tamoxifen she took for 6 years way back then is still being prescribed today. I think we all breathed a sigh of gratitude for medical science and research as we discussed these amazing things.
As the three of us spoke, we pondered these, and many other differences between the stories that Carolyn and Kelly each told. Could it have been generational? I don’t think we can dispute that in general, women of a certain age were held to different expectations when it came to their health, self-advocacy, and self-care. Could it have been circumstantial? Kelly told me that her husband’s first wife had passed away from breast cancer, and even though this occurred years after he and she were separated, he and Kelly were acutely aware of the tragedy that it was and how it affected his daughters. Perhaps that circumstance made Kelly’s diagnosis feel more scary, compared with Carolyn who says she never felt scared and always felt positive, optimistic about her survival. Could it have been a difference in medicine in general? Most women who have breast cancer today have a shared experience that their doctors mean business and they move quickly toward a treatment plan.
Kelly’s husband, Patrick, was hands-on throughout Kelly’s treatment, while Carolyn’s husband, Tom, was thoughtful about Carolyn’s privacy (again, probably a generational thing). But both ladies gushed about their incredible support from their spouses, their children, their bonus children, siblings, friends, and each other. In fact, the advice that they would want to give to others in their shoes is to reach out to your friends, family and support groups in the community, because you don’t have to go through it alone. They both found such comfort through their personal journeys and beyond, because of these support systems. Carolyn also said she now would advocate for herself more fiercely than she did back then, and would encourage others to do the same. With her daughter’s diagnosis, Carolyn scoured the internet and learned all about triple negative breast cancer. They both want to remind women that the quicker the diagnosis, the more options are available to you! Be aware of your body and do self-checks. Kelly’s words, “when in doubt, get it out” will probably always stay in my mind.
Carolyn was an original participant in the early Links for Life golf tournaments with Sharyn Woods (back when our name was Business and Charity Golf Links). And she has been participating in Links for Life activities since inception. Attending events like the Hot Pink! Celebration event is just one of the many ways they give back to the breast cancer community today.
I asked Kelly and Carolyn how they felt when they thought about how they shared the diagnosis of breast cancer. Kelly said when she thinks about her mom, she feels inspired. Carolyn said when she thinks about her daughter, she feels devastated. Isn’t that just what you would expect from a daughter and a mother who so love, respect, and want to protect each other? Although they are both doing great and cancer-free, it still crosses their minds from time to time. (More than she would like to admit, Kelly says.) But life is a little sweeter today since they’ve both can wear their superhero capes and stand tall, knowing that they are part of a beautiful sisterhood of survivors. And in case they start to forget it, they take each other on a little mother-daughter trip every October, to celebrate another year of life together.
At Links for Life we acknowledge each person diagnosed with breast cancer as a survivor, because from the second they are diagnosed they are surviving. Carolyn & Kelly are a mother-daughter duo who have walked in their faith, been supported by their families and friends, and who make a decision to walk in joy every single day.
